Billie Eilish continues to be a relatable queen, whether it’s accidentally coming out, talking openly about masturbation, or, in the case of her recent conversation with Lana Del Rey for Interview, talking about love and vulnerability and how much she struggles with both.

“When one of your romantic relationships ends, do you think you leave them with a thousand questions? Or do they leave you with a thousand questions? Or is it split 50-50? Is it more dangerous to fall in love with you? Or is it more dangerous for you to fall in love?” Del Rey asked.

“Big question, Lana,” Eilish responded. “I don’t even know. I think 50-50 is probably accurate. I literally hate who I am so much when I’m in love,” she admitted. Oof. Put a finger down if you felt that one.

“I really don’t like being—I was going to say out of control, but there’s ways that I do like being out of control,” she explained. “I have a power issue and a control issue, and I also don’t like being vulnerable in a romantic way. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and I don’t know how many times I’ve really been in love. I think there’s different versions of love, and I think that you can be in love and it might not be deep.”

She explained to Del Rey how this influenced her songwriting on her new album Hit Me Hard and Soft.

“It’s interesting to be a person who isn’t an outwardly sensitive complainer. A lot of moments on this album are about situations where I was like, ‘I’d rather be tortured inside but have somebody think that I’m cool, than have somebody think that I’m hysterical and actually express my feelings.’ So many songs on this album reflect that realization of, like, ‘Maybe I’m obsessed with the idea of nonchalance.’”

“I care about people and I have love and passion, but in relationships, I found myself never ever expressing any of my needs. It was interesting to notice I was doing that, and that’s what these lyrics are about. It’s almost like I resent myself for not advocating for myself, because maybe if I had, things would’ve changed. But I’ve always had an issue with weakness.”